Friday, October 10, 2014


We've all seen these signs...they want us to slow down around schools to protect the precious youth of America.

First off, I've seen some of these yewts....they're really not that precious.

In fact, from the sheer quantity of them, they appear to be a dime a dozen.

But I digress....

The school zone near me says this:

Now, if the school zone is only in effect when our little snot-nosed rug rats are in school, and the restriction is off otherwise, what are they doubling?

If there's no fine when school us out, then doubling nothing is nothing!

That's why I hit the school zone at does those kinds good to run a little! 

I'm supporting Michelle Obama's war against child obesity.

While I am at it, you parents who think your kids are so special that you put this on the back of your mini-van (which, by the way, if you drive one, is a sign that your life is over)....

I thought these went the way of the mullet, but someone must have found a bunch in a warehouse because I'm seeing them again.

Do you really think I think your kids are so unique that I am actually going to change my driving habits around you because they might be in the car with you?

Here's a thought-maybe you should drive more safely!

Similar to those with stick figure decals, my proposed law allows these drivers to be hunted year round.


  1. I like it when you see one of those "Baby On Board" signs in the window but the only person in the vehicle is the driver. "OUTTA MY WAY, BABY!"

    ~ D-FensDogg
    'Loyal American Underground'

  2. Right after I read this I skipped over to YouTube hoping to find something for the next Thursday post that relates to this. Last night I was watching Family Feud before going to bed. I would take a moment and explain the game, but I am sure you've seen it:) During the Fast Money round (at the end) one of the five questions was, "On a scale of 1 to 10 how much do you like being around OTHER PEOPLE'S children?" The girl said Zero. Hahahaha. You, my friend, are not alone!

    1. It's not the kids I mind as much as the parents.

      I get being proud of your child-you should be-but the fact that your child learned how to poop in the toilet is not indicative of a miracle, and it's not something I need to hear about.

      According to every parent, their kid is the best at everything.


      No average kids out there?

      Someone tell McCarthy to not bother with that last blog bit-obviously our future is in good hands since we've spawned a Master Race.

      Or maybe these kids are the same cross section as every generation, and the parents have gotten more insufferable.

      In short-I have nothing against kids. It's adults I could do without!

      If kids were left to their own devices
      Would we have ever come up
      With a thing like war?

      -Todd Rundgren