Friday, December 21, 2012



My apocalypse will not be a one day affair, because the world does not end that way. The human race is not going to get off as easy as a comet smashing into the eath.
My apocalypse leverages the prophecies of Nostradamus.

Nostradamus was a sixteenth century seer who had an uncanny ability to predict the future.

In The Prophecies, he compiled his major, long-term predictions in a series of quatrains, grouped into nine sets of 100 and one of 42, called "Centuries".

Nostradamus has been credited, for the most part in hindsight, with predicting numerous events in world history, from the Great Fire of London, and the rise of Napoleon and Adolf Hitler, to the September 11 attacks on the World Trade Center.

"In the new lands of American, three brothers now shall come to power
Two alone are born to rule but all must die before their hour
Two great men but brothers not make the north united stand
Its power be seen to grow and fear posess the eastern lands

Three leagues from the gates of Rome
A pope names Paul is doomed to die
A great wall that divides a city at this time is cast aside
These are the signs I bring to you to show you that the time is nigh”

Man, man your time is sand
Your ways are leaves upon the sea
I am the eyes of Nostradamus
All your ways are known to me”

- Al Stewart
The above verses were quatrains that Al Stewart paraphrased for the final song on his album Past Present And Future (go buy it if you don't own it-it's a classic).

Nostradamus' original verses have been interpreted as predicting the rise to power of the Kennedy clan, as well as the creation of the European union, the death of Pope John Paul I and the deconstrcution of the Berlin wall.

Nostradamus had hit other twentieth century events dead on, most notably his prediction of an evil warlord named Hister, the German of the crooked cross.
My apocalypse continues the decline Nostradamus predicts.
Sorry, no fire and brimstone, tidal waves or earthquakes-we are all going to have to live through every painful minute of it, knowing that we had chances over the last two decades to right this ship (Alan Keyes, Ron Paul), and we chose deception and mediocrity over true leadership.

So, continuing the apocalyptic timeline…

(1)    The population of the Earth grows increasingly dumber (think “Idiocracy”), resulting in the election to President of the spawn of a demon and a human woman, born in Kenya in 1961.

(2)    At the same time, the European union foretold in the verses above will start to crumble due to the proliferation of fiat currency and insurmountable government debt funded by printing money.

(3)    China continues to fund the overspending of the west, and in 2036 takes posession of Hawaii, San Diego and Arizona’s Grand Canyon in exchange for forgiveness of 25% of the accumulated US debt. President Malia Obama had offered Los Angeles and San Francisco for another 25% but China declined. Too friggin’ liberal.
This fulfills the Biblical prophecy of moral decay and decadence.
"But as the days of Noah were, so also will the coming of the Son of Man be." (Matthew 24:37 NKJV)

The Bible says in Genesis 6:11-13 that:
“The earth also was corrupt before God, and the earth was filled with violence. And God looked upon the earth, and, behold, it was corrupt; for all flesh had corrupted his way upon the earth. And God said unto Noah, The end of all flesh is come before me; for the earth is filled with violence through them; and, behold, I will destroy them with the earth.”
(4)    In 2040, Islamic terrorists take control over the entire air traffic control system, but realize if they bring the US to its knees, which they could easily do, we’d stop buying oil, and basically China and OPEC would be the only ones hurt. They return control of the air traffic system to the US in exchange for one hundred cases of Twinkies. Although the snack cakes had not been manufactured since 2012, there was still a quarter century left on their shelf life. President Sasha Obama had tried to negotiate Los Angeles and San Francisco in exchange instead of America’s last Twinkies, but again there were no takers.
This fulfills the Biblical prophecy of the increase in knowledge (air travel, technology).
Daniel 12:4 says: “But thou, O Daniel, shut up the words, and seal the book, even to the time of the end: many shall run to and fro, and knowledge shall be increased.”

(5)   Former president Malia Obama marries Kim Kardashian's son and her son, Barack Hussein Obama-Kardashian, although born in Hawaii, moves to Kenya, applies for dual citizenship and eventually runs for public office. In 2046, President Obama (Sasha) declares war on Lichtenstein for refusing to allow US inspectors to examine their weapons of mass destruction.  When asked how she knew about the weapons, President Obama III said, "I looked at the receipt," outing her sister and predecessor for selling the nukes to the small principality.
This fulfills the Biblical prophecy regarding nuclear weapons that are used in the Tribulation.

(6)    In 2066, the United States files for bankruptcy, and discontinues aid to Israel, who promptly declares war on the economically depressed nation as Jewish Americans repatriate to Israel in alarming numbers, taking with them what little business remained in the country.  surrenders
This fulfills the Biblical prophecy regarding the nation of Israel.
In Zechariah 12:2-3 the Lord declares

"Behold, I will make Jerusalem a cup of trembling unto all the people round about, when they shall be in the siege both against Judah and against Jerusalem. And in that day will I make Jerusalem a burdensome stone for all people: all that burden themselves with it shall be cut in pieces, though all the people of the earth be gathered together against it."

The return of the Jews to their homeland is foretold in many different places in the Bible including Ezekiel 36:24 which says: “For I will take you from among the heathen, and gather you out of all countries, and will bring you into your own land.”

(7)   For the rest, just go read the Book of Revelations in the Bible. And you may want to make friends with your Mormon neighbor, since they have a year's supply of food stores on hand.

So don't worry, the world won't end today. Go buy those Christmas the mortgage, and show up for work wearing this tee shirt...

But start making friends with your Mormon neighbors...they have a year's supply of food stores on hand and who knows if I have some calculation errors in my timeline?


  1. Great and creative blog! Funny, but frighteningly believable too ... except for the US declaring bankruptcy in 2066. It will be WAY sooner than that!

    Isn't there some Bush or Clinton relative that will become President before the Obama kids and hasten our demise a bit sooner?

    Sheboyganboy VI

  2. It could happen. Certainly end of times signs in the Bible are already appearing. Woe to anyone who misses the Rapture.

  3. Love it! You hit all the sensitive buttons in this one. Although you may be a little generous with the amount of time you're giving us.

    Outstanding post with some very thought-provoking considerations.

    Tossing It Out

  4. *Sigh* Staying away from this hop next year.

  5. Where can I get one of those tee shirts? Awesome post, and gives much to think about. :)

  6. Sheboyganboy-glad you found it funny-I did, but I never know how it will come across when someone reads it "cold."

    Diane-the only thing that keeps me from believing we're near the end times is that there have been so many apocalypse predictions just during my life, it makes me wonder.

    Lee-I had to give the Obama dynasty time to grow...I am pretty sure if you read between the verses in Revelations that you'll find the Twinkie prediction.

    Jolie-I did try to make it amusing, but I guess you weren't b laughing. Thanks for dropping by!

    David-If I can find my way back to where I got that tee shirt image, I'll post a link here.

  7. Replies
    1. Milo-

      It's 11:26 and Arizona is still here so you're probably safe!

  8. schnyckies... we share the wisdom and thoughts of Nostradamus... though different... woo-hoo!

    Did we make it?
    My link is dead, I ask again did we make it?
    [Visit my post for that to make sense]

    Great end of the world post!!
    Jeremy [Retro]
    Oh No, Let's Go... Crazy

    1. Retro-Z-I will try to get to posts tomorrow (other matters precluded me from doing so today), but I suspect the human race will survive to see the conclusion of the Hobbit movie trilogy...

  9. I was always fascinated by Nostradamus. Even wrote my very first apocalyptic tale in high school with quotes from Nostradamus throughout. Interesting tie-ins, but I agree with those that say bankruptcy is probably closer, murg.

    Thanks for participating!

    Shannon at The Warrior Muse

    1. Shannon-I snuck in a few post readings at work but will try to review the rest tomorrow.

      This was fun!

      It was the Al Stewart song that introduced me to Nostradamus, but the book fascinated me when I read it....more years ago than I care to admit to!


  10. Hilarious :) Yep, as a first-time visitor (reading this "cold", as you say) I have to assume it's satire, and as such it's fantastic. Great post!

    1. What? You do not believe that the Obama children will one day become presidents?

      Heck, he's so popular the older daughter might succeed him!

      And if people are paying a thousand bucks for a box of twinkies right now, imagine what a case will be worth in thirty years!

      Thanks for reading!

  11. Outstanding! We are well on our way, aren't we?

    1. Glad you enjoyed it Nancy-

      While I was (obviously, I hope) trying to amuse, there are a couple of themes in there that are real (our current level of overspending) that I hope the country gets serious about!

  12. LC ~
    This was - unquestionably! - the best thing you've ever posted on this blog. And that's saying a lot because, as I wrote recently on my own blog, 'BACK IN THE USSR' is one of my very, Very, VERY favorite political blogs!

    You took this topic and went (almost) totally political with it. I took the topic and went (almost) totally pseudo-spiritual (occult) with it. I did, however, take one little shot at Obama - the "Kenyan master" (A.K.A. "Harrison J. Bounel").

    Even though I referenced more Rock/Pop stars than you did, I like your take on it better than my own. You win, dude!

    This was pretty freakin' great, despite the "TEXT" issues. (I'm off from work for the next four days - THANK GOD! - and I needs to find time to Email ya and tell ya how I think ya can correct the ongoing text issues.)

    Anyway, GREAT blog bit (even though the commenters who said you're being too generous in terms of time for America's demise are probably correct), and I hope to Email ya sooner than later.

    Yak Later, Mayan Apocalypse Survivor Boy.

    ~ D-FensDogg
    'Loyal American Underground'

    1. Stephen-

      Glad you enjoyed it-I just got done re-reading yours (read it ay work but kept getting interrupted). I really was expecting yours to be very serious with your usual very thorough research, so I threw in my biblical references at the last minute as a nod to you!

      I copied the text from somewhere-I was too lazy to retype it last night-and that's what caused my problem-I could not turn off the background.

      As for timing, I believe America's DECLINE started during the Nixon administration, but think her ultimate DEMISE will be a while off. After all, Great Britain was a world power a century ago and is still kicking.

      As for the end of the world (interesting fact, about the definition of Apocalypse-I either did not learn that it Catholic school or had forgotten), I think it's a while off yet....although it's still not quite midnight...and it sounds like the wind is picking up outside!

  13. A plausible outcome! All the plotting and counter-plotting of various governments will fill the timeline until the end - but I have a sneaking suspicion, given what we already perceive in global economics, events may move faster than you suggest!

    Great post!

    SueH (I Refuse To Go Quietly!)

  14. Thanks, Sue-

    I have no problem with the idea that economic events may sour quickly-I think a few social programs will be in crisis mode by the end of the decade.

    I am just not sure the decline of the US will really trigger the end of days...

    Thanks for dropping by!


    >>... I really was expecting yours to be very serious with your usual very thorough research, so I threw in my biblical references at the last minute as a nod to you!

    Thanks for the "nod" (and the compliment). But, nah, I couldn't take the thing seriously enough to write anything serious about it. On my blog, I replied to your comment there, and I explained to FarAwayEyes what my 'Apocalypse' blog bit was really intended as (i.e., a satirical mocking of people who are into occult prophecies while ignoring and/or denigrating the prophecies in The Holy Bible).

    So, in a sense, it was a serious topic but wrapped in a silly satire.

    >>... I copied the text from somewhere-I was too lazy to retype it last night-and that's what caused my problem-I could not turn off the background.

    Did you try pasting the copied text into a Word File, then highlighting it and clicking "Clear Formatting"? For me, that almost always eradicates a "background" from a copied text.

    >>... After all, Great Britain was a world power a century ago and is still kicking.

    Yes, but you're not taking into consideration that the true GOAL of our Puppet Masters is to bring America to her knees so she'll accept the coming Global Government. If their actual goal is to wreck us (as it surely is), it shouldn't take a whole lotta time. Especially since we're at least half or two-thirds wrecked already.

    All the Puppet Masters need to succeed is the necessary power, and an ignorant and disarmed populace. They've already got the first two of the three.

    The end wasn't "yesterday", but for all intents and purposes, I don't think it's too many "tomorrows" away.

    ~ D-FensDogg
    'Loyal American Underground'

  16. What a scary outcome. My worst fear is a long drawn out apocalypse of agony.

    Thanks for playing and come and get your badge.


  17. Nothing is more accurate than Bible prophecies. What's really scary is when we start to run out of them. (I guess scary only if you miss the Rapture, right?)