Tuesday, October 25, 2011


You gotta give this blog credit for going from the sublime to the ridiculous!

From America's burned-out moral compass to "are you freakin' kiddin' me?" I bring you what Americans do get riled up about instead of things like murder, abortion (a synonym for murder), adultery, and waging illegal and unconstitutional wars on people in countries who don't think we're cool (yet even more murder).

Yep-Americans worry the that brand name of ice cream is responsible for our moral decay!

Ben & Jerry's new limited-edition flavor 'Schweddy Balls' ice cream has brought chuckles from fans of the "Saturday Night Live" skit on which it's based, some supermarket chains feel that the flavor is too controversial and not up to the standards of, say the National Enquirer and Weekly World News.

The flavor featuring fudge-covered rum balls has been absent from some grocery freezers since it was unveiled. The title was inspired by an innuendo-laced 1998 skit featuring Alec Baldwin as baker Pete Schweddy, who promises, "No one can resist my Schweddy balls."

But apparently some grocery store chains can, and so can supporters and members of the One Million Moms group.

That Mississippi-based moms organization has been putting the heat on retailers to keep Schweddy Balls out of their freezers and encouraging parents to ask the Vermont-based Ben & Jerry's to stop production of the item, saying the name is nothing but locker room humor that's not appropriate for young children.

I can see that-the Call Of Duty and Grand Theft Auto video games teach our children family values that we don't want eroded by a reference to a ten-year old Saturday Night Live skit that the kids won't even understand because they WEREN'T BORN YET!

Ben & Jerry's spokesman Sean Greenwood said Thursday that Schweddy Balls has quickly become the most popular limited-edition flavor the company has produced.

But it was these unclean Schweddy Balls that raised the ire of the conservative One Million Moms group.

Monica Cole, director of the Tupelo, Miss.-based organization, said "The vulgar new flavor has turned something as innocent as ice cream into something repulsive. Not exactly what you want a child asking for at the supermarket."

Here's the SNL skit....if you think your immortal soul can stand it!
And here's a tase test on The View!
To the One Million Moms...can you guys PLEASE get behind something that frigging matters?
Your kids are being taught far worse than Schweddy Balls in those dung-holes you call public schools-why aren't you up in arms about that?
You're like the people in the condo association who send out tickets because there's a blade of grass the wrong length!
Yeah, I know America means freedom for everyone, but really....you're squandering yours!
Watch out you pious ones-B&J makes Karamel Sutra ice cream, too!


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  6. Jacked up priorities are everywhere, and it's beyond ridiculous. I read a post the other day written by someone who is outraged (OUTRAGED!) by the book Go the F**k to Sleep, by Adam Mansbach. This woman had a gazillion comments, almost all agreeing with her.

    I don't know if you've read it or seen the YouTube video with Samuel L. Jackson reading it, but it's a spoofy book for parents about the frustration of getting your kid to go to sleep. Written in kids' bedtime story style, it is not a children's book and I doubt that anyone with even a few working brain cells believes that it was meant to be one.

    It's funny, for crying out loud.

    The blogger went on and on about how bad parents have become that they would read such a book to their young children. Seriously? She went on to say that even if you were to look at as a book for adults, she wondered what kind of sick mind would write such a thing and worse, what sorts of twisted parents would find it even a little bit funny.

    Yeah, that book is what's wrong with the country and the current generation of parents. Bonehead.

  7. I hear you, Beth.

    All parents have to do is not buy the book, anyway.

    Every time a movement starts to protest things like this, all it does is offer free publicity to the product in question.

    Or maybe they are right. If we do away with the book and the ice cream, American will be back on top again!