DEATH FROM ABOVE

Oklahoma could soon join Louisiana and Texas in allowing hunters to shoot feral hogs from helicopters.

Dubbed "the flying pig bill," the proposal would allow private landowners, companies and pilots to apply for a state license and be responsible for the activity. Hunters on board the aircraft wouldn't need a license, nor would they have to provide their names to the state.

The change would follow a similar shift a few years ago in neighboring Texas, where shooters can now hire an aircraft for anywhere from $1,000 to $2,000 per hour for a hunt.

Republican Rep. Jeff Coody, a co-sponsor of the bill, said the proposal is intended to "to take aerial depredation a little more back to what was originally intended several years ago."

I guess the firearms do not give human beings enough of an advantage over the animal-since hunting is a "sport" I guess it is sporting to hunt a pig with a flying machine and lots of firepower.

I guess the odd will even up a little when pigs fly.

HOT FOR TEACHER

Two different stories about teachers having sex with students have me puzzled.

Here's the accused teacher in Texas (who, according to her attorney, is smiling for her mug shot because she's innocent).

And here is the teacher in Florida. Less happy in her picture, but maybe that's because they accused her of contributing to the delinquency of a minor.

And here is my question.

Who is filing the complaints here?

The student in Texas claims that he made contact with her breasts and that she touched his genitals. I had a couple of student teachers in high school where those events went through my mind in each class session. And a couple of my regular teachers fueled my teenage fantasies as well.

Is this kid complaining because a hottie teacher came on to him?

In Florida, the teacher admitted to having sex with the student. Again, as an adult, I have to not condone this behavior, but as a former teenage boy, this was a wet dream come to life.

Did this kid complain, or did another adult overhead him bragging about it?

If either of these ladies want to contribute to the delinquency of an old man, I will cheerfully volunteer!

All you women who are thinking "Oh, oink," I agree with you.

All you men who are thinking anything but "right on-sign me up!" you're either gay or full of it!

FEDERAL BUDGET REVIEW

TRANSGENDER FELINE DEBATE

Garfield's gender has become the subject of an internet debate.

The Washington Post reports Wikipedia locked changes on the animated cat's page after the site's volunteer editors battled over whether the animated cat is male or not.

The controversy bubbled up two years after Garfield creator Jim Davis told viral content site Mental Floss that as a cat, Garfield is "not really male or female."

Davis sought to clear up the controversy this week, telling the Post that "Garfield is male" and has a girlfriend named Arlene. 

Davis' spokeswoman tells The Associated Press that he also told the Post he likes animals because "they're not perceived as being any particular gender, race, age or ethnicity" and says the "humor could be enjoyed by a broader demographic."

Word is that Garfield will use the litter box of the gender he identifies most strongly with on any given day.