SORRY WE'RE CLOSED

DO THEY POST THESE SIGNS IN PHARMACIES?

WHILE AMERICA BURNS

The grand jury decided not to indict police officer Darren Wilson in the shooting of Michael Brown.

I had commented on Tilting At Windmills last week that I was concerned that the grand jury decision would be about preventing civil disobedience, rather than justice.

I was wrong-they made a decision that they had to know was going to be unpopular with many Americans.

I do not know the truth of what happened, but as fires break out in Ferguson, I am saddened that the frustration of this community has to be released in this way.

My prayers go out to the people of Ferguson-I do not pretend to understand what it feels like to be in your shoes, but I pray that casualties are minimal and that cooler heads can soon prevail.

It has felt like race relations had come a long way in my lifetime, but the perspective is different for a white man from the Philadelphia suburbs.

I know racism is not eradicated, but am I blind? 

Are things truly no better than they were when Dr. King was assassinated?

While Michael Brown's shooting was not necessarily racially motivated, all of the destruction and violence happening in the wake of this decision is racially motivated.

Tonight, as I watch live television coverage of my fellow Americans running into a burning auto parts store with the intent to steal, I feel sad. 

Sad for the community, because when the night is over and the fires go out, the sun will rise on the carnage you will have to live with until things can be rebuilt (if they are rebuilt).

This is not the answer.

I wish I knew what was.

RELIGIOUS CLEANSING

"If you tell a big enough lie and tell it frequently enough,
it will be believed"

-Adolf Hitler

American Atheists, a non-profit that claims to protect the rights of atheists and to ensure the “absolute separation of government and religion,” has declared war on Christianity.

An explosive new blog post on the organization’s web site advocates for the “eradication” of fundamental Christians." 

In the post, Al Stefanelli, American Atheists’ Georgia State Director, makes a bizarre connection between radical Muslims and Christians. In speaking about “fundamentalist Christian and radical Islamic doctrines,” Stefanelli says that both are “dangerous, damaging and disingenuous.” 

Is it me, or does this guy sound reminiscent of a certain German official from the 1930's?

Throughout the blog post, Stefanelli continues to allude to similarities between Christians and radical Muslims, but declines to truly define them.

Aside from making this comparison, he goes on to write that “most of these people” (again referring to Christians) “lack the maturity and intelligence” to act in “a socially acceptable manner.” Many of these adherents, he believes, are “sociopaths,” “psychopaths” or simply “delusional.”

Certainly some fringe Christian believers qualify as extremists but Stefanelli’s comments are so vague it’s impossible to discern who the targets of his rage truly are. 

What is truly scary is that many Americans will see this bile in print on a web site and take it as fact, rather than for what it is, the ranting of an atheist extremist.

Who are these violent Christians that Stefanelli is so frightened by? 

The way he speaks about it one would assume there are militant Christians lurking at his front door. 

In one particularly erroneous portion of his text, Stefanelli writes:

The fact is that fundamentalist Christians and radical Muslims are not interested in coexisting or getting along.  They have no desire for peace. They do not want to sit down with us in diplomatic efforts to iron out our differences and come to an agreement on developing an integrated society.

They want us to die.

Stefanelli then claims that radical interpretations of the Bible require that believers “kill the infidel,” but he provides no evidence to support that statement.

Possibly because there is not any!

Stefanelli really gets his Nazi groove on in this statement:

But the underbelly of fundamentalist Christianity and radical Islam does not operate in the legal system. They don’t respond to lawsuits, letters, amicus briefs or other grass-roots campaigns and they must, must, must be eradicated.

Considering his group’s involvement in fighting Christians and conservatives on a variety of issues, one wonders what, exactly, he means by “eradicated.” 

Maybe he thinks some kind of a camp setting is a good idea? 

Here's the thing, Al.

Christianity is about love.

Even when we feel people are sinners (like those who advocate killing Christians), we are charged to love the sinner and pray for them. Or pray for you, in this scenario.

In short, Christianity is about open-mindedness and tolerance.

Two words that do not seem to be in the atheist lexicon.

Christians should be concerned. 

Assaults against our faith have become frequent occurrences.

The same people who demand tolerance for their life choices apparently have no tolerance for our beliefs.

And sadly, while Stefanelli is clearly the voice of a radical fringe element of atheists, many Americans will buy this shinola out of ignorance.

The enemies of Christianity will cite the First Amendment and use buzz words like "freedom of worship." 

And just like Barnum predicted, some of the people will be fooled all of the time.

There have been acts committed by people who identify as Christian that I do not condone, 

I'd like to know how the "eradication" proposed by Stefanelli is any less extreme than those fringe elements he claims to fear.


Make no mistake-there is an agenda at work here. 

That agenda has very little to do with the morality the atheist camp pretends to exhibit.

Because if an atheist were comfortable with their beliefs (or lack thereof), why would they care what we believe?

I posted this same clip on my last bit, and I am repeating it here because I believe it is relevant and powerful. 

Like the character in the film, Stefanelli abandoned reason a long time ago.

Christians need to be able to sniff out the BS and call the BS-ers on it. 

Just because we are charged to love the sinner does not mean we have to sit back and let ourselves be eradicated.

MAYBE SOME PEOPLE DID EVOLVE FROM APES

Kurt Warner is probably best known to Americans for being the leader of the “Greatest Show on Turf” offense for the St. Louis Rams when they won Super Bowl XXXIV.

Considered probably the best undrafted player in NFL history, Warner was bagging groceries before a stroke of luck turned him into the NFL’s hottest QB.

Warner is also known for his evangelical side, which gained worldwide attention when redirecting an interviewer after Super Bowl XXXIV.

Interviewer: "Kurt, first things first--tell me about the final touchdown pass to Isaac."

Warner: "Well, first things first, I've got to thank my Lord and Savior up above--thank You, Jesus.”

Really-who does this guy think he is?

Together with his wife Brenda, Warner has been active as both a Christian speaker and a volunteer for missionary causes.

Warner’s religious faith has come under fire in the past, as has his (gasp) public support of his wife.

The Warner family

His faith again came under fire last weekend, after a joke he cracked on an NFL pregame show led to an online assault by militant atheists.

Warner was doing a segment Sunday on the NFL Network featuring Steelers QB Ben Roethlesberger, discussing his ability to adapt to defensive schemes.

“I’m not fully buying the evolutionary theory where one species transforms into another,” Warner said. “But if we’re talking about the idea that every species has the ability to adapt over time, well then I’m all in.”

“As a matter of fact, I’ve actually seen this happen in a group I’ve been studying for years: NFL quarterbacks,” he added.

A joke flavored with possible pro-Christian sentiments? 

This guy should be stoned, right?

Or worse.

“People who believe in creationism should just be lined up and shot for being too stupid to live,” one Deadspin commenter wrote, “and are too dangerous to have walking around in society.”

Yes, unlike people who threaten to shoot anyone who does not agree with them. 

Nothing says "open-mindedness" like a death threat.

“Didn’t [K]urt Warner have a ton of concussions in his career? Why do people inject their stupid religious beliefs in their commentary,” another brilliant screed read.

Although, if you think about it, the level of intelligence demonstrated by these twittering idiots does sort of make a case for them being close relatives of monkeys, right?

I'm just saying...

Or did I just insult the monkeys?

Warner’s decorum compared to that of his "critics" on Twitter made a compelling argument for the character-building aspect of religion, as well as further demonstrating how nasty the so-called liberal and tolerant left can be.

And how close-minded the allegedly enlightened truly are.

Christians are strong in their beliefs, but are called to love everyone, including those who demonstrate behavior they may disagree with.

A trait that Warner has demonstrated every publicly captured moment during the fifteen years I have followed his career (this is me, coming out of the closet as a Rams fan).

I feel like I owe a debt to Warner. 

In September of  1999 I was at the lowest point in my life-I'd lost the best friend in my life during the summer of 1998 (to cancer), followed by losing the love of my life a few weeks prior to the football season (we broke up-to my knowledge she is still very much alive and, I sincerely hope, very happy with her life-although it would be ok if she regretted us not working out just a little bit).

Warner's "rags-to-riches" story and the Rams "out-of-nowhere" season made football fun for me to watch again. 

It also helped snapped me out of a dark mood that had lasted far too long. 

I still remember the feeling I had on that last tackle of the Super Bowl. As the confetti showered, I felt like I was finished with all of the baggage I was carrying. 

Don't get me wrong-football is a game. But that fall, it was a diversion I needed, and I thank Kurt for that. 

Setting the game aside, Warner is simply a class act.

Losing his next Super Bowl to the Patriots, he was all class.

Benched by the Rams, he was an exemplary teammate, with never a disparaging word about the man who replaced him. 

Criticized by the St. Louis media for his religious beliefs and for his unwavering support of his wife, he was still a gentleman whenever interviewed. 

Ditto during similar benching situations in New York and Arizona. 

And after all the adversity, he still led Arizona to its first-ever Super Bowl and darn near pulled off an upset.

In the wake of the controversy over the New Orleans Saints bounty scandal, Warner never accused the Saints of a cheap shot, simply acknowledging that it was a "violent game."

Warner is active in both the Phoenix and St. Louis communities, and heads the First Things First charity. 

This is a man whose life embodies his Christian faith.

And someone is advocating lining him up and shooting him simply because of a different point of view?

This reminds me of the "debate" in the movie God's Not Dead.

Atheists are not content with their own disbelief-they need everyone to share it with them.

Tolerance is a two-way street, athiests!

Stand tall, Kurt-I know you do not really need my support (you've got Someone far more meaningful than me in your corner), but you have my support anyway, along with my admiration.

Not for your performance as a football player, but for how you conduct yourself as a person.

THE ARIZONA MEDIA HAS A WANNABE COMPLEX

Although this post features a picture of Arizona rocker Roger Clyne, and references the recent article about him in the local New Times weekly, this is not a music post.

I have posted before about the Arizona media's need to not only find an Arizona connection to every news story, but to bolster their "street cred," like the time the local paper compared Tempe to Times Square in NYC.

I lived in the Philadelphia suburbs for my first thirty-two years, virtually in the shadow of New York City, and I do not recall that city's media ever comparing us to New York.

So why Arizona has such an inferiority complex is beyond me.

They did it again last week in the Roger Clyne article in the local entertainment rag New Times.

Roger Clyne And The Peacemakers are a regional act that has a devoted following. 

Back in the '90s, Clyne's band the Refreshments signed to a major label and scored a radio hit with "Banditos." 

His music straddles the line between Southwest mythologizing and frat-friendly party songs about drinking tequila.

The article draws several comparisons between Clyne and Bruce Springsteen, like the one I quote below:

“(Clyne) resembles both Springsteen and Buffet, especially because he's a savvy businessman whose main income in the digital era is from live shows and merchandise”

I'm not even sure I'd agree that their musical styles are all that similar similar, let’s remember that The Refreshments never charted on the top 100 singles chart and barely dented the top 100 albums  for a week (peaking at #97). And the Peacemakers, while they have made Billboard's Heatseekers chart, has never cracked the top 200.

Keep in mind that Sprinsgteen’s last release, High Hopes, was somewhat of a commercial disappointment but still charted at number one.

And Springsteen's worldwide arena tour that lasted two years and was number nine on the top-grossing concert tours of all time may not be a valid comparison to Clyne selling almost a thousand tickets in his home town.

I am not knocking Clyne, who has enjoyed a career in music for more than two decades, but the writer’s need to draw not one but three Springsteen comparisons is laughable.

More relevant comparisons would be to Pittsburgh’s Joe Grushecky, Cleveland’s Michael Stanley or Philadelphia’s Robert Hazzard, acts that flirted with national exposure but never had the breakout success. These acts also remain active (Hazzard passed away a few years ago, but both Grushecky and Stanley have recent releases and still perform), and like Clyne, are able to make a living at what they love.

But, in typical Arizona media fashion, the writer feels the need to establish some additional credibility.

To say in any context that Clyne and Springsteen share “a similar situation” is kind of silly.

All that said, don’t let the Arizona media keep you from checking out Roger Clyne and The Peacemakers-they are a great band, even if hardly anyone outside of the Grand Canyon State knows who they are.

But you may not want to drop your New York Times subscription in favor of the Arizona Republic...

PUTTING IT IN PERSPECTIVE

SHOULD ALL THIS TECHNOLOGY CONCERN US A LITTLE?

With our advanced technology, it is amazing what we have come to accept as the way things are, leaving us to just shrug our shoulders.

For example, we've all seen this type of error come across our computer screens, often at the expense of a lot of work.

Aren't all errors unexpected?

Are you some of you setting out to make mistakes?

I am reminded of the time, years ago, that Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated, "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon."

In response to Bill's comments, General Motors a press release that included the following: 

If GM had developed technology like Microsoft...for no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day...(and) for some reason you would simply accept this.

There is no doubt that we all benefit from technology. 

And look at the impact it has had, with industries that have risen and fallen within our lifetimes.

The video rental business did not exist prior to 1980 and is all but extinct. 

Ditto the compact disc.

Remember your Sony Walkman?

How about your boombox?

I know a couple of you readers remember these...

Even music downloads are looking like their days are numbered, as streaming looks to be the delivery model of the future.

To everything, there is a season. 

For the record (those are pretty much gone, too!), Pete Seeger stole that line from a much older lyricist.

Does anyone even have a home phone anymore? Ever see a pay phone these days?

Where the heck does Superman change clothes?

Remember when you used to have to develop film?

And now cars warn you when you're drifting out of your lane.

Yes, the world has changed.

But we may want to be careful how much control we cede to technology. 

I am not rushing to have my home security controlled by my phone, for example, especially when my naked selfies are not even secure on my phone.

After all, as scary as the thought of a nekkid photo of me is, remember how scary it can be when the technology takes over:

I'll be back!

IS GOD DEAD?

A (Christian-a rarity in my company) coworker recommended the recent film God’s Not Dead to me, because, in his words, “the main character argues like you do.”

The main story line in the film involves Josh, a student in a college philosophy class who refuses to do so when instructed by the professor to sign a statement declaring “God is dead.” 

The professor gives Josh twenty minutes in each of the next three classes to make his case that God is not dead.

I watched the clip on the IMDB page and got what my coworker meant. 

I loved the scene, and in fact, have lived the scene many times (I’ll explain later).

I read reviews of the film, but few seemed to be very objective. 

The atheist reviewers generally trashed it, and to Christian reviewers it was generally the best film ever made.

Having watched the film, I will say that it was nowhere as good as I hoped, although the three scenes that involve Josh making his case for the class are quite good.

However, after watching those scenes, I disagree with my coworker.

I’d credit Josh for making far more thought out and researched arguments than I ever do.

I argue like “My Cousin Vinny.” 

Remember this scene?

My buddies and I used to have senseless arguments like this one all the time. 

Mind you, my buddies were not as cute as Marisa Tomei and the arguments never ended with us kissing (usually one would tell the other to "fuck off"), but we'd pick a point and defend it senselessly until the other one gave up. The louder the better.

Back in those days, the goal was to win the argument at all costs, logic be damned.

As an adult, I try to maintain logic (although sometimes I do revert to my younger self). 

I go with the facts I remember and rely on my wits (well, half of them, anyway). 

I am forthcoming when I do not have facts, but I engage in the debate more to pull information out of my opponent rather than trying to “win” anything or change my opponent’s mind.

In the film, Josh does his homework and finds data posited by theist and atheist scientists alike to make his case.

After the debate scenes, it falls apart a little. Some of the  director's choices were questionable (at best) in my opinion.

Kevin Sorbo plays the college professor like a villain from an old A-Team episode, at one point threatening to make it his mission to destroy Josh's academic career.

There are a few interwoven subplots, but sadly these characters are all stereotypes:

* The controlling girlfriend who breaks up with him because he did not simply drop the class

* The Chinese exchange student and his strict father are carbon copies of the two characters in the Heroes TV series, which were derivative of characters going back decades

* The bullying strict Muslim father and the beautiful young daughter who has assimilated into our culture and is secretly Christian

* The visiting foreign priest whose vacation is ruined by one mishap after another but he never gets frazzled

* The local priest who thinks his parish work is trivial

* The business executive son who has no time for his mother with Alzheimer's and who dumps the blogger is having an affair with when she is diagnosed with cancer and needs his support

* The beautiful daughter of the Alzheimer's patient who is a devout Christian and the college professor's emotionally abused girlfriend

* The Christian band who seemingly make a believer out of the cancer patient and plays a concert that makes the end of the film drag on to it's cliched ending with the college professor. (For the record, the band at Christ's Church of The Valley in Phoenix blows the band in the film away)

The other problem I have is that all the Christian characters are portrayed as saints, and all non-Christians are either idiotic or evil.

That said, the film is worth watching for the debate scenes alone, and there are few other scenes I liked, even though some were absolute cliches.

I would suggest Christians and atheists alike not to expect the film to prove or disprove their point of view.

Watch it and enjoy the debate. 

It may lead you to do some further reading. 

You remember reading, right? 

It's what you do when you receive a text.

Only books are longer.

I could not find a clip of the scene from the IMDb page, although here is a link to that page (it's the clip to the right under "videos"), or you could start watching at 13:30 in the clip I have inserted below.

For me, it was the best scene in the movie.

What I find so compelling about this scene is that I have argued religion versus science with Christians and Atheists alike and had the same experience.

My position is that religion and science are not mutually exclusive, which seems to be the position Josh takes in the film.

Many Christians would not agree and would take the Bible literally.

Atheists would throw out the Bible in its entirety.

But every atheist I have ever debated with always wants to convert the believer, which always makes me wonder why?

Are they insecure in their non-belief? That old saying that no one is an atheist in a foxhole would seem to support this.

My last discussion with an atheist started when he made the statement that there can be no intelligent political discussion in this country until religion is eliminated.

Wow. 

Pretty stark. 

All Christians lack intelligence? 

Every one?

I countered that there can not be intelligent discussion about anything without respect for the other party.

For those of you who are not inclined to go rent the film (although most streaming services seem to have it), here are the debate scenes (for as long as the You Tube link remains active).

I had a good friend who was a confirmed atheist, but I lost touch with him in the decade between his retiring and his passing, so I did not see him at the end.

I have always wondered what he believed as he took his last breath.

Does God exist?

I think at the end of the day it comes down to faith.

But if there is no God, that means everything beautiful in this world happened by chance, not design.

And it also means we go through all that we go through for nothing.

Does God exist?

It's kind of a depressing thought to think He doesn't.

CAN THE SCALES OF JUSTICE MEASURE A NICKEL BAG?

Prosecutors in Montgomery County, Texas, have filed paperwork to have Adrian Peterson's bail revoked and the Minnesota Vikings running back re-arrested after he told a drug tester that he had recently smoked marijuana before taking a urinalysis test Wednesday.

Now I would agree that “smoking a little weed” before a drug test might not be the smartest behavior, but isn’t revoking Peterson's bail a little extreme?

Isn’t the whole point of bail to keep the individual from being a flight risk?

Ever “smoke a little weed?”

No? 

Yeah, right-you didn't inhale....

Ever been around anyone who did?

Do these guys look like they could ever be a flight risk?

Or these guys?

The only flight risk you have with a stoner is if someone forgets to lock the back of the Doritos delivery truck!

So, beating a child wasn't enough to get him locked up, but smoke some chronic and they throw away the key!

Is our justice system screwed up or what?

ARE AMERICANS TOO DUMB TO LIVE?

We've all seen these signs...they want us to slow down around schools to protect the precious youth of America.

First off, I've seen some of these yewts....they're really not that precious.

In fact, from the sheer quantity of them, they appear to be a dime a dozen.

But I digress....

The school zone near me says this:

Now, if the school zone is only in effect when our little snot-nosed rug rats are in school, and the restriction is off otherwise, what are they doubling?

If there's no fine when school us out, then doubling nothing is nothing!

That's why I hit the school zone at seventy...it does those kinds good to run a little! 

I'm supporting Michelle Obama's war against child obesity.

While I am at it, you parents who think your kids are so special that you put this on the back of your mini-van (which, by the way, if you drive one, is a sign that your life is over)....

I thought these went the way of the mullet, but someone must have found a bunch in a warehouse because I'm seeing them again.

Do you really think I think your kids are so unique that I am actually going to change my driving habits around you because they might be in the car with you?

Here's a thought-maybe you should drive more safely!

Similar to those with stick figure decals, my proposed law allows these drivers to be hunted year round.

STUPID NEWS HEADLINES

This was one of the feature stories on Arizona's news last evening....

Now any time anyone is killed in an automobile accident, it's a tragedy...

But you think maybe the advice might have been more relevant before the accident?

After the accident, why not let people grieve?

WHAT I BELIEVE (well, whatt Steve Martin believes, anyway)

I was looking for a "medieval barber" sketch from SNL to include the link in my comment of Your Daily Dose (valuable health care suggestion)-couldn't find one, but found this and forgot how funny it was.

ARE AMERICANS TOO DUMB TO LIVE (THE NEW SEASON)?

Now this may be the case with all television stations, but the ones in Arizona really think their viewers are DUMB.

Warranted or not.

Notice anything about the picture below?

I mean, besides the fact that Caribe Devine is smokin' hot?

If you look at the outlook, on Thursday, they predict a high of 92.

Friday, they call for 97, and Saturday, 99.

Now you might be thinking "92-that's low for Phoenix in early October," but that's not what I'm looking at here.

I'm looking at Caribe. 

And the fact that she felt the need to add the word "warmer" on those days where the temperature was higher than 92 degrees.

You see, beautiful, we kind of got that when THE NUMBER was HIGHER.

You see why McCarthy and I rag on Arizona?

PRIDE IN THE NAME OF THE DMV

The Bible specifies certain categories of people who are blessed.

For example, in this (historically accurate) scene below, manufacturers of dairy products (the Cheesemakers) are given exalted status.

If it is true that Blessed are the idiots, then Arizona is blessed in abundance!

I've described some of the feeblemindedness inherent in the Arizona driver in a prior post, but today I want to focus on the Arizona drivers who have succumbed to that deadliest of the deadly sins, 

Pride.

Yep-I am talking about self-absorbed Arizona idiots and their Vanity Plates.

As far as I can remember, this asinine craze started when Tom Selleck started driving a red Ferrari sporting this plate:

This plate breaks my first rule below. Can you guess why without reading ahead?

But this plate is not offensive, nor does it necessarily mean the driver is an idiot (just willing to settle).

Some plates are cool.

Some plates are truly stupid.

Maybe the driver is claiming not to be flatulent

First off, let's go with one of my favorites-those idiots who feel the need to remind me whose car it is they are driving. 

I used to see these plates in my old employer's parking garage:

MYHONDA

CMYLEXIS

News flash, morons-I know it's your Honda and your Lexis.

You know how I know?

You're driving it, dumb ass!

Appropriate plate for a Pinto...

Another favorite class of driver that is near and dear to my "wish I could shoot them" list are what George Carlin used to refer to as "church people."

Now I have nothing against the religious, but I do find that some of the rudest drivers in Arizona have bumper stickers that read "What Would Jesus Do?" or "WWJD?"

Well for starters, he probably wouldn't drive as arrogantly and rudely as you do!

But there are also the clueless pious, the truly most blessed of the simple-minded.

I've seen many vanity plates along these lines, but recently saw a Kia Rio sporting this gem:

GODGVN

Now let's remember for a moment that according to the Bible, it's all God-given, hence the concept of tithing-you give God back ten percent of what is his in the first place.

And if it's all God-given, you really don't need to tell me that God provided the blessings in your life that allowed you to buy the status symbol that is the Kia Rio.

But let's assume God truly did buy you, self-righteous arrogant doofus that you appear to be, a car.

Well God can pretty much afford any car He wants.

And He bought you an entry-level Kia.

What's that say about what He thinks of you?

This is a cool idea for a plate

I miss the days when only wealthy people had vanity plates, and they were limited to their names.

So here I am with my Rules For Vanity Plates.

Rule # 1- If you have to put a number at the end of the plate, forget it-someone thought of it first, and you're a wannabe. That's why I don't have one, the two good ideas I had have been taken in all four states I have lived in.

Ladies-don't get this one unless you plan to back it up!

Rule # 2- Unless you're an incredibly sexy woman, don't get a plate with any variation on the word "sexy." 

It's false advertising. 

We men get all psyched up to see that sexy girl from the Hot Pockets commercial and see Miss Girl Next Door, and it's kind of a let down. Pun intended.

Rule # 3- If you are an incredibly sexy woman, and you get a plate with any variation on the word "sexy," you can't complain about any of the attention it draws. You have to smile and wave at all of the lewd rude comments, wolf whistles, stares, leers and gawks. You wanted it, you got it, suck it up. Again, pun intended.

Really?
Unless you're the CEO of Coca Cola or a cocaine dealer, this is just stupid.

Rule # 4- Guys, you gotta monitor what your lady puts on her vanity plate. 

Someday you're gonna borrow that ride, and there are few things as embarassing as a beefy trucker-looking guy getting out of a minivan that has "MOMSTAXI" on the tag. 

Or any variation of the word "sexy."


Rule # 5-  No cutesy nickname BS. If you're going to resort to that, just send me the $100 and shoot yourself. 

And guys, when she gets "Babe," or "Ci Ci" or something equally frilly, remember Rule # 4.

If you're old enough to drive, you're too old for this plate

Now, my rules over those decals that show the stick figures of the husband, wife, three kids, a dog and a cat are quite simple. 

What I'd like to put on my car, but with a couple of expletives inserted

Arizona being a state in which you can carry your firearm, I have made it legal to shoot those drivers no matter the season. 

Hope you opted for the bullet proof glass on that mini van. 

In closing, if you have to waste your money on a vanity plate, there are DO'S:

Simple....cool...this is acceptable

And DON'TS:

I have to hear "Booyah" far too often for my taste.
Please don't make me read it, too!